Two weeks in, and I’m already feeling… troubled… as I renew my attempt at a writing career. In particular, I wonder:
- how do I make my voice heard among the millions of other writers and authors out there?
- how do I ensure that my vision is shared and received as intended?
- what exactly is my vision?
- how does my antisocial self navigate a world driven by social media?
Not saying that I’ve thought of giving up so soon, but my old friends — The Doubts — wasted no time inviting themselves back into my life. And then there are my usual stressors, which all stem from money and the fact that I rarely have any.
I’ve thought hard about this website, its purpose, and its reach. I’m not particularly happy with its name, even though “She Writes (and Edits)” explains my situation well enough. And, frankly, this place feels like a hot mess to me right now, if I’m being completely honest.
On top of concerns regarding this site, my money, and whatever else currently causes me angst, I’m also dealing with the characters and ideas and scenes and scenarios constantly running through my head.
My mind is never at rest.
But then I remember that I have this little thing called faith. And, because of it, I won’t be giving up. Period.
I remind myself that I created a website instead of a blog for a reason: this web page cost money and money is among the greatest of motivators. This might be a “struggle” site today but it’s serving a purpose: providing a venue in which I can organize my thoughts into a cohesive format. And it may not always look like this or be called this, but for now, it’s exactly where — and what — it needs to be.
So, even though I exist day to day well past a healthy level of stress, I wholeheartedly believe that I was given each of my many challenges for a reason. With my talent and my voice, I can use my experiences to write relatable stories that will undoubtedly help someone somewhere overcome something someday.
Today, I know full well that my struggles are by design, and I know without a doubt that I will overcome them. Not because I was told to have faith or to believe, but because I’m still here — able to type and share — when I haven’t always wanted to be. Some force keeps me breathing and walking and talking: who am I to quit now?
Your belief levels may ebb and flow like the tide: your current problems may not allow you to see the beautiful sparkling ocean beyond the overwhelming gray boulders sitting right in your face. But — when it comes to faith — you either have it or you don’t. You’re either in or you’re out.